Thursday, December 29, 2011

100th POST IS A MINION CONVERSATION!

BETWEEN FIRST MINION CLAYTON AND SECOND MINION BRIAN!



http://penny-arcade.com/resources/just-wow1.html
[12/29/2011 10:53:00 PM] brian ellis: You see this?
[12/29/2011 11:03:23 PM] clayton donaldson: a couple days ago
[12/29/2011 11:03:32 PM] clayton donaldson: it gets worse
[12/29/2011 11:04:09 PM] clayton donaldson: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/114993-UPDATE-Ocean-Marketings-Former-Client-Disowns-Shady-PR-Firm
[12/29/2011 11:04:21 PM] clayton donaldson: the dudes professional life is basically ruined
[12/29/2011 11:04:35 PM] clayton donaldson: i had fun with that story today =p
[12/29/2011 11:07:13 PM] clayton donaldson: pricks like that prevent up comers from finding work in that area
[12/29/2011 11:07:17 PM] clayton donaldson: im glad hes gone
[12/29/2011 11:17:16 PM] clayton donaldson: what do you think?
[12/29/2011 11:20:19 PM] clayton donaldson: ?
[12/29/2011 11:20:20 PM] clayton donaldson: ?
[12/29/2011 11:20:21 PM] clayton donaldson: ?
[12/29/2011 11:25:48 PM] brian ellis: Oh. He's a moron
[12/29/2011 11:26:20 PM] clayton donaldson: sad to think hes in a similar field to me huh?
[12/29/2011 11:26:27 PM] clayton donaldson: i mean
[12/29/2011 11:26:34 PM] clayton donaldson: its rrrreally easy to get in
[12/29/2011 11:26:41 PM] clayton donaldson: and even easier to fuck up
[12/29/2011 11:27:02 PM] clayton donaldson: but what hes doing...wow... the arrogance.
[12/29/2011 11:30:05 PM] brian ellis: I knoww.. its one thing to be an ass to your customers, your just a douche guy, but to say things like that to the guy that fucking runs PA and PAX.... seriously?
[12/29/2011 11:30:18 PM] brian ellis: So much arrogance.
[12/29/2011 11:31:17 PM] clayton donaldson: he should have known who he was talking to, and he should have treated customers better. that singular problem keeps popping up in the industry lately....sigh
[12/29/2011 11:31:41 PM] brian ellis: Its only going to get worse, Im afraid.
[12/29/2011 11:31:50 PM] clayton donaldson: maybe...maybe not
[12/29/2011 11:31:52 PM] brian ellis: Our generation is awful...
[12/29/2011 11:31:57 PM] clayton donaldson: lol
[12/29/2011 11:32:00 PM] clayton donaldson: not all of them
[12/29/2011 11:32:03 PM] brian ellis: True.
[12/29/2011 11:32:05 PM] brian ellis: There is me
[12/29/2011 11:32:06 PM] brian ellis: -cough-
[12/29/2011 11:32:08 PM] clayton donaldson: i think the hulk thing proved that
[12/29/2011 11:32:10 PM] clayton donaldson: lol

Monday, December 26, 2011

HULK TALKS COLOR THEORY


A FEW MONTHS AGO, BEFORE HULK WAS HULK... HULK WORKED ON SOME STRANGE STUFF FOR ORGANIZATIONS HULK ISN'T REALLY ALLOWED TO GO INTO GREAT DETAIL ABOUT!


.... THE RESEARCH AND THEORIES HULK CAME UP WITH HOWEVER HAVE FAR LESS NDA'S INVOLVED SO HULK WILL JUST REPLACE WORDS WITH OTHER WORDS TO HELP PEOPLE GET THE IDEA BEHIND THE ARTICLE!


HULK WORKED ON THIS "THING" FOR A "GROUP" FOR ABOUT A YEAR BEFORE THE HULK PERSONA WAS BORN! HULK WAS OUT CELEBRATING ABOUT A SEMESTER BEING OVER AND RANTING WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY ABOUT GOOD AND BAD DESIGN!


ONE OF THEM SAID " HEY HULK! YOUR MEAN AND GREEN AND LIKE YELLING AT PEOPLE! CAN YOU LOOK AT OUR "THING" AND MAKE IT SO NEW GUYS IN THE GROUP USING THIS " THING" DON'T GET CONFUSED WHEN INTERFACING WITH SAID " THING"


HULK SAID, " THAT SOUNDS A LOT LIKE USABILITY! AND HULK WOULD LOVE TO."


HULK WON'T MINCE WORDS.... BACK THEN THE "THING" WAS RATHER MESSY! YET IT WAS BEING USED BY A MASSIVE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE!

HULK PLANS TO WRITE SEVERAL ARTICLES ABOUT THE STUFF HULK WAS SEEING, AND COLOR THEORY WILL BE THE FIRST!


HULK WILL START THINGS OUT WITH A QUESTION! WHAT DOES EACH COLOR MEAN TO YOU WHEN YOU VIEW IT?

DO YOU HAVE MEMORIES INVOLVED?

PEOPLE INVOLVED?

EDUCATION INVOLVED?


COLOR THEORY IS THE EXAMINATION OF WHAT COLORS MEAN TO PEOPLE! AND TO THE WORLD IT CAN MEAN EVERYTHING! WHETHER ITS A GAME , A MARKETING PROJECT, OR A SCHOOL LAYOUT COLOR THEORY IN SOME FORM CAN BE SEEN IN MANY ASPECTS OF THE WORLD YOU LIVE IN AND IS ONE OF THE EASIEST WAYS TO GUIDE AN AUDIENCE!

ONE OF THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS HOWEVER, IS THAT NOT EVERYONE REACTS THE SAME WAY! AND SOME ORGANIZATIONS CAME UP WITH THEIR OWN ASSUMPTIONS OF WHAT COLORS MEAN AND IF THEY ARE APPROPRIATE!


LETS START OUT WITH SOME BASICS! PSYCHOLOGISTS DISCOVERED AGES AGO THAT A ROOM COVERED IN RED CAN MAKE A PERSON ANGRY IF THEY HAVE BEEN SITTING IN IT FOR A LONG TIME! WHILE THE COLOR BLUE CAN MAKE SOMEONE MORE TRANQUIL OR EVEN HAPPY!


FOR PEOPLE IN THE PRIVATE SECTOR AND THE MILITARY THE COLOR RED USUALLY MEANS NORMAL! EVEN THOUGH ITS ASSOCIATED WITH STOP, BLOOD, DANGER, AND WARNING!



HULK AT FIRST THOUGHT IT WAS BECAUSE THE MILITARY IS THE BUYER FOR MOST OF THESE INSTANCES , THAT THE MILITARY IS JUST A LITTLE BIT KOO KOO, AND BEHIND DUE TO THEIR OWN INABILITIES TO CONFORM TO NEW SITUATIONS INSTANTANEOUSLY! ( DOESN'T THIS GO AGAINST THEIR TRAINING?)


HULK FOUND OUT THE FIRST PART WAS TRUE BUT IN DIFFERENT SUBJECTS, WHILE THE SECOND PART WAS BASICALLY SPELLED OUT BY HIGHER LEVEL STAFF! " THE MILITARY ALWAYS WANTS TO SEE THINGS SIMILAR TO WHAT THEY ALREADY HAVE, AND HATES ANYTHING NEW"

AND YET THE "GROUP" STILL WANTED A PROGRAM THAT WOULDN'T CONFUSE THE NEW GUYS WHILE WORKING WITH EGOTISTICAL SOMEWHAT BORING MILITARY BUYERS..... THIS IS PROBABLY THE FIRST INSTANCE WHERE HULK'S RAGE WAS BORN!

HULK STARTED DIGGING THROUGH THEIR ENTIRE SYSTEM AND TIME AFTER TIME HULK WAS SEEING WORDS BEING COLORED IN AS IF THEY HAD IMPORTANCE, DANGER, OR CAUTION AROUND THEM YET THEY NEVER DID! MORE SO YOU WOULD NEED A SECOND PAGE OF NOTES TO UNDERSTAND WHY CERTAIN THINGS WERE BEING COLORED IN TO BEGIN WITH!

IT WAS A FREAKING NIGHTMARE!



SO LETS GO OVER HOW PROPER COLOR IS USED!



HULK LIKES TO THINK COLOR THEORY HAS 2 MAIN METHODS OF USE!

THE FIRST IS REQUIRING PREEXISTING SYMBOLOGY! SO THINGS LIKE ROYALTY WOULD BE PURPLE AND THINGS LIKE THE OCEAN WOULD BE SHADES OF BLUE! EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT NECESSARILY THE CASE!

FOR INSTANCE ROYALTY WOULD ALSO WEAR A SEA OF OTHER COLORS! NOT JUST THE PURPLE! BUT SINCE PURPLE WAS ONE OF THE MOST EXPENSIVE TO PRODUCE AND ONLY ROYALTY WOULD BE LIKELY TO EVER BUY SUCH A DYE, THE TWO WERE IMMEDIATELY CONNECTED TOGETHER! AND THE OCEAN ACTUALLY IS CLEAR, BUT SINCE THEIR ARE SO MANY CRAZY THINGS FLOATING AROUND IT WE TEND TO SEE BLUE, GREEN, AND SOME OTHER CRAZY COLORS.... BUT MOSTLY BLUE SO WE ASSOCIATED IT WITH BLUE!

( SAME GOES FOR THE SKY.... DID YOU KNOW IT'S TECHNICALLY ON FIRE?.....HAS HULK TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE?...HMMM)


THIS METHOD OF MAKING CONNECTIONS IS FINE... IF NOT A LITTLE BORING! IT MAKES GREAT FOR REALISM! INTERPRETATION! OR ASSOCIATING PARTS OF OUR WORLD WITH OTHER PARTS OF OUR WORLD, AND FOR UNDERSTANDING WHY THE COLOR GREEN USUALLY MAKES PEOPLE FEEL SAFE OR RATHER NORMAL!

HULK HOWEVER LIKES THINGS A LITTLE WILD!

IF THE SYMBOLOGY METHOD WAS THE ORIGIN OF COLOR THEORY, THEN THIS SECOND FORM WHERE WE EXPLORE HOW COLOR AFFECT OUR EMOTIONS WOULD BE THE EVOLVED STATE!

THAT OPENING OF FRACTALE FOR INSTANCE HAD ALL KINDS OF COLOR BEING THROWN AT YOU IN VERY SPECIFIC FORMS AND FUNCTIONS! IN SHORT THE CREATOR WASN'T TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL ANYTHING FULLY BUT AT THE SAME TIME WAS TRYING TO OVERLOAD YOUR SENSES! THEY WERE TRYING TO OPEN YOUR MIND A LITTLE BEFORE WATCHING EACH EPISODE OF THE VERY SHORT VERY! VERY AWESOME SERIES! OR AT THE VERY LEAST TRY TO PLACE YOU IN THE RIGHT MOOD FOR WATCHING THE EPISODE! FURTHERMORE WE SEE SOMETHING ELSE!

THE WAY IT ENDS WHERE EACH COLOR COMES INTO FOCUS TO DEFINE ONE PERSON GIVES A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF POWER TO THAT PERSON BEING DEFINED! AS IF ALL THAT WILD AND CRAZY ***** WAS ALL AT THE CORE OF THIS ONE INDIVIDUAL!

HULK WENT A LITTLE DEEP WITH THAT ONE....

HULK IS SURE THE 1980'S HIPPIES FELT SOMETHING SIMILAR WITH A LITTLE " ASSISTANCE" IT HAS CERTAINLY BECOME A PART OF POPULAR CULTURE...


HULK WOULD LOVE TO ONE DAY HAVE THAT CRAZY PROGRAM HULK WORKED ON REACH THIS SECOND STATE OF COLOR THEORY! SO FAR HOWEVER ONLY GAMES LIKE FLOWER, BASTION, AND ANIME LIKE FRACTALE HAVE EVER REACHED THIS KIND OF STATE OF COLOR THEORY WHERE WHAT HULK WAS FEELING DID NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT SOMETHING THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN DECIDED BY THE OUTSIDE WORLD! JUST LIKE WHAT THE SYMBOLOGY ROUTE MOSTLY LIVES OFF OF....


THE END RESULT FOR THE "PROGRAM" IS THAT MOST OF HULK'S SUGGESTION WERE ACCEPTED AS TRUTH...HULK DID ABOUT 8 MONTHS OF RESEARCH ON VARIOUS SUBJECTS FOR THEM, BUT BEFORE HULK COULD REALLY BEGIN SERIOUS WORK ON THIS STUFF.... THIS HAPPENED! IRONIC HOW A COMPANY ACCEPTED HULK, BUT ENDED UP HAVING TO SAY NO TO HULK!

OH WELL... AT LEAST HULK HAS HIS DEGREE AND ALL THIS DELIGHTFUL RESEARCH!



Friday, December 23, 2011

THE NOT SO SPECIAL CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!

HULK HAS BEEN HAVING NOTHING BUT ISSUES SINCE THE PODCAST STARTED THIS WEEK.....


HULK, CLAYTON, AND THE MINIONS WISH EVERYONE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU PROFESS TO CELEBRATE <3







DOWNLOAD HERE!


THIS WEEK'S MUSIC IS FROM DOT HACK AND GOSICK



Friday, December 16, 2011

THE HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! SOPA EDITION!


THIS WEEK CLAYTON CHATS WITH NICHOLAS, STILL GRAY, AND PENGUIN ABOUT A WHOLE SLEW OF THINGS! .....MOST IMPORTANTLY IS SOPA!


DISCUSSION POINTS!

GOTTA RIDE THAT CHOCOBO!
AMAZING MUSIC!
PRINNIE RIDER BEING BORN!
NINTENDO ROCKING IT!
EA BEING A GREEDY ******** MORON!
HOMEFRONT FACES HOME PENALTIES!
THE 14 YEAR BAN!
MIYAMOTO RETIRING!
PRINNIE STOLE CLAYTONS JOKE!
NINTENDO SAYING MIYAMOTO ISNT REALLY RETIRING!
NINTENDO HOLDING MIYAMOTO CAPTIVE!
VITA IS BULL******
PENGIS!
WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?
GRADUATION!
THIS IS AN INTERVENTION!
GAMESTOP!
GAME INDUSTRY PRACTICES!
MEDIA!
MEDIA PROTECTION!
HULK PROTECTION!
OUTRAGEOUS CHANGES TO THE INTERNET AND SOCIETY!
CEOS THAT CREATED THE INTERNET DO NOT COUNT AS EXPERTS!
CLAYTON FEARING FOR HULK'S FUTURE!





THIS WEEK'S MUSIC IS FROM FATE ZERO AND AND BASTION! GO BUY IT ALREADY!

WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?





HULK THOUGHT IT SUMMED UP THINGS NICELY!

STILL GRAY FINDS THE CRAZIEST ****!



CHECK OUT GAMERANX!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

THE DRAGONS OF SKYRIM




HULK IS GOING TO DO SOMETHING A LITTLE WEIRD TODAY!

INSTEAD OF SMASHING SKYRIM LIKE MANY HAVE ALREADY, HULK CHOOSES TO TALK ABOUT THE PROBLEMS WITH SKYRIM , AND GO INTO FURTHER DETAIL ABOUT HOW THOSE PROBLEMS COULD HAVE BEEN ADDRESSED!


HULK WILL START WITH DRAGONS!

HULK'S FIRST LESSON FOR ADORABLE DESIGNERS OF SKYRIM IS TO FIRST MAKE SURE THIS GLITCH IS FUNNY!

SECOND LESSON WOULD BE TO MAKE SURE THE DRAGONS ARE FLYING THE RIGHT WAY!

THIRD LESSON WOULD BE TO MAKE SURE THIS FUNNY GLITCH ACTUALLY ENDS WITH A ZOMBIE DRAGON MINION!


NOW FOR THE REST OF THE LESSONS... HULK IS GOING TO HAVE TO GO INTO A LITTLE STORY TIME.




AS CLAYTON MENTIONED WHILE CHATTING WITH KASAVIN, CLAYTON WAS ON A MAGICAL ADVENTURE OF BRINGING NPC WIFE TO HER NEW HOMETOWN! ON HIS WAY TO HER HOME CLAYTON BEGAN HEARING ♫ DOVAHKIIN DOVAHKIIIN DO DA DA DA DA DA♪ EXCEPT THEIR WAS NO DRAGON FLYING HIGH IN THE SKY! THE DRAGON WAS FOUND WALKING UP THE BLOODY BRIDGE!

HULK LATER TOOK A PICTURE OF THE SPOT WHERE CLAYTON HAD TO FIGHT SUCH A RIDICULOUS BATTLE FOR POSTERITY! CLAYTON ALSO MENTIONED HOW HE WAS INSIDE, ON SOME RANDOM QUEST TO SAVE A BRIDE ( OR KILL HER, HE DOESN'T REALLY REMEMBER FULLY RIGHT NOW)

WHEN A GIANT ******** DRAGON SOMEHOW GOT INTO THE ROOM AND BURNED EVERYONE TO DEATH!

HOW WERE THESE DRAGONS ABLE TO WALK IN VERY NARROW BRIDGES OR SOMEHOW ENTER HOUSES WITHOUT DESTROYING THE HOUSES? HULK BLAMES BETHESDA ON THAT ONE!

MORE SO WE NOW SEE INSTANCES WHERE THEIR UPDATES ACTUALLY MADE THINGS WORSE!

BUT HULK NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT IN THIS ARTICLE, NO... HULK DECIDED TO STICK STRICTLY ON THE DRAGONS ENTERING HOUSES AND WALK UP FRONT DOORS ISSUE!


THE EASIEST STEP WOULD BE TO JUST MAKE SURE THEY DON'T THAT ANYMORE, BUT SEEING AS BETHESDA HAS AN OBSESSION ( PASSION?) FOR FREEDOM INSTEAD OF CLEAR DIRECTION THAT MAYBE WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE FUN!


ALL HOUSES AND ANCIENT STRUCTURES CARRY SPECIAL PROTECTION!


SINCE DRAGON LORE ON MANY LEVELS STATE THAT DRAGONS ARE AMONG ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL MAGIC RACES AND THAT MOST FORMS OF MAGIC DON'T WORK ON THEM, LETS USE SOME KIND OF BARRIER IN TOWNS THAT JUSTIFIES WHY EVERY BUILDING IN SKYRIM HAS NEVER BEEN BLOWN UP! EVEN WITH 4 DIFFERENT DRAGONS TRASHING THE COUNTRY SIDE AT ANY MOMENT!

HULK IS NOT SAYING TO STOP DRAGONS FROM ENTERING TOWNS!... THAT WOULD BE SILLY!

(HOW THE MAGIC WORKS AGAINST DRAGONS TO BEGIN WITH SHOULD ALSO BE STUDIED)

BUT HOW ABOUT A SPECIAL BARRIER THAT WEAKENS DRAGONS IN SOME PHYSICAL SENSE LIKE THE LIGHTSHOW DRAGONREND CREATES? AND THE CLOSER A DRAGON GETS TO A SOURCE OF THE BARRIER MAKES THE REPULSION ALL THE MORE REAL?!



ANOTHER INTERESTING IDEA WOULD BE TO EXPAND ON WHAT HAPPENS IN THE INTRO SEQUENCE! HAVE ALL HOMES GET BLASTED APART BY DRAGONS BREATH!

SKYRIM HAD A SLIGHTLY HILARIOUS SCENE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME WHERE YOUR JUMPING FROM RUINED TOWER TO BUILDING ALL MIRRORS EDGE STYLE, BUT THEN THAT METHOD OF GAMEPLAY IS MORE OR LESS NEVER USED AGAIN!



HAVING THE DRAGON BUST DOWN THE CHURCH DOOR AND CREATING A LOVELY ROUND OF CORPSE BRIDE WOULD MAKE HULK FORGIVE THAT MISSION BEING FOREVER TRAPPED IN HULK'S QUEST LIST WITH NO POSSIBLE WAY TO REMOVE IT!


BUT IN IT'S CURRENT FORM HULK IS A BIT DISAPPOINTED!
BETHESDA SHOULD TRY HARDER TO STOP BREAKING HULK'S IMMERSION!
SEND HULK TWEETS ON WHAT YOU ALL THINK!


Friday, December 2, 2011

THE HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! SCHEME FOR PAX EDITION!

GAME JOURNO AND HULK WERE HAVING A CONVERSATION A FEW WEEKS AGO AND ABOUT PAX AND POSSIBLY DOING SOMETHING AT PAX!

HULK ORIGINALLY WAS A LITTLE BUSY THIS WEEK, BUT THE IDEA OF SCHEMING FOR PAX WAS FAR TOO STRONG!


DISCUSSION POINTS!
GAME JOURNO PAST AND PRESENT!
REFINEMENT!
SMASHING!
HORRIBLE STORIES FROM THE GAME INDUSTRY!
SEXISM!
HULK BLAMES SOPA!
KOJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMA!
WHERE THE ******** IS ZOE 3?
LEAPING ON MORSELS!
......FINAL FANTASY........ ( YES HULK SAID HE WASN'T GOING TO TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE, BUT HULK WANTS TO MAKE THINGS BETTER)









MUSIC THIS WEEK IS FROM FINAL FANTASY 13 AND TENGEN TOPPA GURREN LAGANN!




Thursday, December 1, 2011

HULK PLAYS : HALFLIFE 2 EPISODE 2

IN A MOMENT OF HULK WEAKNESS HULK PLAYS HALFLIFE 2 EPISODE 2 IN SOME VANE ATTEMPT TO FORGET ABOUT HOW HALFLIFE 2 EPISODE 3 AND HALIFE 3 ARE STILL NOT OUT YET!





Watch live video from hulkgamecrit on www.twitch.tv