Wednesday, March 25, 2015

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! ENCHANTED WATER EDITION!

THE REGULAR MINIONS HAVE BETRAYED THEIR MINION DUTIES SO HULK BRINGS IN HULK PINCH HITTERS!

 ( HULK APOLOGIZE FOR BAD EDITING THIS WEEK, AUDACITY DIED AFTER 3 HOURS OF HARD HULK WORK AND HULK LOST IT A BIT)


DISCUSSION POINTS:

BLOOD MONEY
FINAL FANTASY
CRYSTAL PHALLICKNESS
DRAGON AGE
MORE FLUBBING
ENCHANTED WATER
WHAT THE ***** TO TALK ABOUT ON THE ******** PODCAST
WEIRD BACKGROUND NOISES
TOTALLY SPOILING DYING LIGHT

DOWNLOAD HERE
LISTEN HERE
IF LIKE PODCAST THEN GIVE HULK FEEDBACK!

MUSIC THIS WEEK IS ALL ABOUT THE DOTHACK... GO BUY IT ALREADY!

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! NOW ON ITUNES EDITION

ITS BEEN A LONG HULK BREAK, THE SNOW IS MELTING FOR THE MINIONS AND HULK TRAPPED IN THE ETERNAL HEAT KNOWN AS FLORDIAN TROPICAL CLIMATES! SO TO CELEBRATE HULK SMASHED THROUGH THE NETHER! THROUGH FIRES AND FREEZES THE LIKES OF WHICH HULK HAS NEVER SEEN BEFORE!

LONG DID HULK TOIL! LONG DID HULK PULL AND SCRAPE HULK SELF THROUGH THE NETHER! AND DRAGGED THE PODCAST TO ITUNES....

DISCUSSION POINTS:

DRAGON CLOWNS
KOOOOJIMA!
DESTINY
RNG
BORDERLANDS
FLUBS
BLUBS
AND THE POSSIBILITY OF SCRUBS
WITCHER 2 NONSENSE
THE WITCHER 3 SKYRIZZLE DISCUSSION
VR TECH

DOWNLOAD HERE
LISTEN HERE
IF LIKE PODCAST, THEN GIVE PODCAST REVIEW ON ITUNES!  


MUSIC FROM FRACTAL! GO BUY IT ALREADY!


Friday, April 25, 2014

A BETTER BUSINESS MODEL

HULK NOT DONE LONG WINDED DISCUSSION ON HULK SITE IN WHILE, SHOULD BE A SMASHINGLY GOOD FUN!


 ADORABLE FOLLOWERS GOT MAD WITH HULK TODAY OVER A VIDEO POSTED BY JIM STERLING. FOR THOSE TOO LAZY NOT TO CLICK LINKS AND HEAR BRITISH VOICES, JIM TALKS OF THE BIZARRE YET INCREASING FAILURES OF VALVE IN CHECKING PRODUCTS BEFORE THEIR EVENTUAL RELEASE.

SOME FOLLOWERS ARE OF THE OPINION THAT NO PUBLISHER, SITE, OR ENTITY SELLING A PRODUCT SHOULD BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR A PRODUCT BEING A PILE OF SHIT, FURTHERMORE FOLLOWERS BELIEVE THE ROLES OF SMASHING THESE GOOD FOR NOTHING SCUM DEVELOPERS THAT SELL INTENTIONALLY BROKEN PRODUCTS IS INHERENTLY WITH THE COMMUNITY AND NO ONE ELSE.

NOW.... HULK LOVE ALL FOLLOWERS, BUT THESE FOLLOWERS ARE MISGUIDED, AND HERE ARE HULK'S UNSMASHABLE REASONS AS TO WHY


1: MONEY HAS ALREADY TRANSFERRED BETWEEN GROUPS.

IF GAME IS RELEASED, BOUGHT, REVIEWED. FOUND TO BE HORRIBLE BEYOND STANDARD BUGS ISSUES AND CAN BE CLASSIFIED AS FRAUDULENT SCHEME TO TRICK PEOPLE.... THEN THE COMMUNITY BASED CHECKING SYSTEM IS ALREADY TOO LATE.

2: REFUNDS ARE NOT FULLY EMBRACED IN INDUSTRY.

TO DATE, THE ONLY COMPANY TO HAVE A GOOD REFUND POLICY THAT HULK KNOW ON PERSONAL LEVEL IS AMAZON ( FOLLOWERS SAID GOG ALSO GOOD BUT DONT QUOTE HULK ON IT) , NOT EVEN STEAM ( WHO DOES EVENTUALLY GIVE RETURNS WHEN SHIT HITS FAN) WILL HANDLE MORE THAN ONE RETURN PER CUSTOMER OR AT LEAST THIS IS WHAT REPRESENTATIVES HAVE PREVIOUSLY STATED.

INDIE GROUPS SUPPOSEDLY ARE MORE TRANSPARENT WITH REFUNDS BUT HULK NEVER NEEDED TO DO A REFUND DUE TO THE GAMES USUALLY BEING EXCELLENT.

MANY AAA SITES DO HAVE A REFUND POLICY IN PLACE, BUT IT INVOLVES JUMPING THROUGH HOPES, PAYING SHIPPING COSTS OR "STOCKING FEES" AND USUALLY IS LENGTHIER THEN IT NEEDS TO BE TO DETER PEOPLE FROM TRYING.
 



3.COMPOUNDING NEGATIVE MEDIA PIECES CAN HARM A REPUTATION.

IN SHORT, THE THEORY IS THAT IF ENOUGH BAD PIECES OF MEDIA ARE RELEASED
YOU TEND TO START SEEING BAD SALES WHEN IT GROWS BIG ENOUGH. HULK CALLS THIS A THEORY BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH EVERY MARKETER ON THE PLANET UNDERSTANDS THE CONCEPT, NO PROPER SCIENCE HAS BEEN DONE SINCE SOCIAL MEDIA IS A NEW INTRODUCTION TO THIS COMPLICATED ISSUE.



4: THE GAME INDUSTRY (LIKE START UPS IN TECH INDUSTRY) DO NOT UNDERSTAND QA.

HULK PERSONAL POLICY IS THAT ALL KNOWN BUGS MUST BE REMOVED BEFORE GAMES SHOULD BE RELEASED. THIS MEANS HULK PROJECTS CAN TAKE A LONG TIME AND IN CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES CAN EVEN BE A DRAIN ON RESOURCES.

LARGER OUTFITS DON'T LIKE SPENDING MONEY PROPERLY ON QA (AND INDIE USUALLY REFUSES TO)... OF ALL THE BUDGETS THEY ARE GENERALLY THE TINIEST ( WITH MARKETING BEING THE LARGEST) AND ONCE SOMETHING IS OVER BUDGETS THERE'S NOTHING THEY CAN REALLY DO..... SO IT WORKS LIKE THIS, A "SHOW STOPPER" WILL GET FIXED, THE MAMMOTH FLYING HIGH INTO THE SKY PROBABLY WON'T UNLESS THAT MAMMOTH ENDS UP BREAKING THE GAME.

THEN THERE'S THE SPECIAL GROUP OF JACKASSES WHO THINK THEY DON'T NEED TO DO ANYTHING TO EARN INCOME AND SHIP IT BROKEN TO HOPEFULLY FIX IN A DAY ONE PATCH OR SOME OTHER LAZY PIECE OF MARKETING BULLSHIT.

5: DEVELOPERS SADLY ARE JUST AS LIKELY TO BLAME AUDIENCE THAN BLAME THEMSELVES WHEN THEY SCREW UP.

THEY HAVE ALSO  BLAMED A GRAPHICS CARD UPDATE, FALSIFY MEDIA OR TIRADE ABOUT WORLD BEING AGAINST THEM OVER TINY CODE ISSUES ( HULK HAVE SEEN PROGRAMMERS OVERREACT AND START THROWING DEATH THREATS AROUND BECAUSE OF FREAKING SYNTAX ERRORS.....SYNTAX ERRORS OF WHICH HULK CAN'T SHARE BECAUSE THEY WERE SCARED OF PEOPLE REACTING AND DELETED TWEETS 10 SECONDS LATER!). THEY ALSO CALL REVIEWERS "SLUTS" , "BITCHES", OR "WHORES" WHEN THEY FIND FAULTS ( EASILY REPEATABLE ONES) WITH THEIR PRODUCTS.

6: THE POWER OF THE COMMUNITY "VOICE" IS NOT A STABLE GROUNDED THING... 

 ITS DETERMINED BY PEOPLE ON RECEIVING END AND ULTIMATELY THE VOICE CAN BE NONEXISTENT IF NO ONE LARGER IN THE COMMUNITY STEPS UP TO MAKE OTHERS KNOW ABOUT IT. THE TERM "SIGNAL BOOSTING" BECAME VERY VERY POPULAR ON TWITTER WHEN SPEAKING ABOUT THIS PHENOMENA AND ULTIMATELY, SOMEONE IN THE COMMUNITY BEING A DICK ( AS THE DEVELOPERS TEND TO SEE IT) DOES NOT MEAN YOUR FAVORITE KICKSTARTER OR MOBILE GAME OR "AAAAAAAAAAAA" NEXT GEN TITLE WILL GET FIXED BECAUSE PLAYER SEE SOMETHING.



SO WITH LINKS IN HAND, BIZARRE STORIES LEADING TO STRANGER STORIES, LEADING TO MISTAKES, AND EVENTUAL SLOWED SALES HULK NOW WANTS TO RETURN TO THE BEGINNING....

THE COMMUNITY *CANNOT* BE THE FIRST LINE IN DEFENSE WHEN SHUTTING DOWN WHAT LOOKS LIKE GET QUICK RICH SCHEMES. GAME SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN PLACED UP TO BEGIN WITH.

DUE TO THE REASONS HULK ALREADY LISTED, IF ENOUGH SHIT GAMES ARE RELEASED, THEN THE REPUTATION OF THE COMPANY RESPONSIBLE FOR SELLING THE GAME CAN ALSO TAKE A HIT. THEY TAKE THE HIT FOR SHOWING WITHOUT A DOUBT, SEVERE LACK OF COMMON FUCKING SENSE, AND FOR A COMPANY LIKE STEAM ( WHOM HULK RESPECT IMMENSELY) IT IS A TRAVESTY THAT NO ONE STOPPED, SAW GAMES LIKE ALIENS AND THIS 2066 NONSENSE WAS BEING RELEASED AND FIGURED IT MIGHT NOT BE WORTH IT.

IT MAKES THEIR ENTIRE PROCESS OF GREENLIGHTING ( OF WHICH IS KINDA SORTA DEAD BUT NO IN THE GRAVE YET), THEIR PROCESS OF ALLOWING NON GREENLIT DEVELOPERS ON STEAM LOOK LIKE A FARCE AND ONLY ADDS MORE QUESTIONS TO THE FLAME WAR OF HOW THE HELL STEAM IS ACTUALLY RUN. THIS ITSELF IS A CONTINUING ISSUE FOR NEW INDIE DEVS THAT REALLY NEEDS CLARIFICATION.
 


ONE QUICK VIEWING OF THE MATERIAL WOULD HAVE SHOWN THIS WAS A POSSIBLE LAWSUIT WITH POTENTIAL ASSETS BEING STOLEN.


HULK NOT GOING TO LIST LARGE QA METHODOLOGY PRACTICE ADVICE FOR VALVE, THAT WOULD BE STUPID, BUT WITH FAILURES OCCURRING, REFUNDS STILL BEING A PROBLEM,  AND MORE SHITTY GAMES BEING RELEASED ACROSS THE WIDE SPECTRUM OF GAME RELATED DEVICES.....

A QA SYSTEM IS NEEDED, AND SINCE GAMES FALL THROUGH THE CRACKS THAT AREN'T HILARIOUS GOAT SIMULATORS, HULK GUESSING VALVE SHOULD HIRE PEOPLE TO PLAY SOME DAMN VIDEOGAMES AND ENSURE THEY MEET SOME KIND OF PRICE VALUE STANDARD BEFORE BEING RELEASED TO THE PUBLIC, AND HULK PRAYS TO HULK GODS VALVE DOES THIS WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE XBLIG


HULK KNOW NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES COULD BE HAD FOR THIS KIND OF SYSTEM..... BUT IF VALVE WONT TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY WHILE STILL NOT GIVING OUT REFUNDS.... THEN THEY WILL START LOSING SUPPORT IN THE GENERAL PUBLIC. IT MIGHT NOT BE TODAY OR A YEAR FROM NOW, BUT IF THE PROBLEM CONTINUES THEN HULK CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE FUTURE HELL THAT STEAM WILL BECOME.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! PRAISE HELIX EDITION!

THIS WEEK ANDRE AND WILL JOIN HULK IN PRAISING OUR LOARD AND SAVIOR BIRD JESUS FOR FIGHTING THAT ONE GHASTLY FOR WELL OVER 20 MINUTES!

DISCUSSION POINTS:
POKEMON!
POKEMON BANK!
TWITCH PLAYS POKEMON!
STONES AND THEIR BAD TOUCH! 
OCARINA OF TIME!
EVERYONES FIRED!
STRANGER DANGER!
TUTORIALS!


MUSIC FROM THE MISSINGNO TRACKS AND THEOPHANY

Thursday, February 20, 2014

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! HAGGLING POKEMON'S MMO EDITION!

HULK TOOK TIME OUT OF BUSY HULK QA SMASHING LIFE TO REVAMP PODCAST!

PODCAST NOW RECORDED ON SUNDAYS!

REGULAR PEOPLE IN ROOM LIKELY WILL BE MATHIAS, WILL, AND ANDRE
 ( OTHERS MIGHT APPEAR, HULK CAN NEVER TELL)


DISCUSSION POINTS:

DEATH IN THE BUG SMASHING FAMILY....

CRYSTALS....

BRAVELY DEFAULTING ON THIS PODCAST!

CONNECTION ISSUES!

DEATHTRAP FANFICTION!

POKEMON MMO'S THAT GO NOWHERE OVER LONG DURATIONS!

38 STUDIOS TRAINWRECK FANFICTION!

HAGGLING AS A GAME MECHANIC!




MUSIC FROM POKE FEED AND GUILTY CROWN



Wednesday, January 15, 2014

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! MARKETING BULLSHIT AND TRAINWRECK AWARDS EDITION!

HULK NEW JOB KEEPS ROLLING ALONG AND SO DOES THE PODCAST SHENANIGANS!

STILLGRAY, MATHIAS, PRINNY, BRANDON, ILLUSIVE MAN JOIN HULK IN SMASHING EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE FOR ALMOST TWO HOURS OF HULK GLORY!

FIRST HALF OF SHOW IS PODCAST! THE SECOND HALF IS TRAINWRECK AWARDS!


DISCUSSION POINTS:

TIME ATTACKS FOR CHARITY!
ESO!
MARKETING!
HULK SMASH EVERYONE!
COMMUNITY MANAGER = LOW MAN (WOMEN) ON TOTEM POLE!
TRAINWRECK AWARDS!

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! HIGH OCTANE REDNECK HONESTY EDITION!

HULK FINALLY MOVED, THE GAME SEEMS TO BE WORKING, AND THE MINIONS WANT TO PODCAST! TUNE IN AS EVERYONE TRIES TO RETURN TO A SENSE OF NORMALCY!


 

DISCUSSION POINTS:

FAST FOOD!
SANCTUM 2!
KANECO BEING KANECO!
CSI MIAMI!
FAKE COUGHING!
PERSONA!
BRO NIGHTS!
MINIONS SHOULD PLAY F2P WEEKLY!
POKEMONS!
MORE BRO BRO BRO!



MUSIC IS FROM CASHERNS SINS ( YES REALLY) AND PERSONA!

GO BUY IT IF FOLLOWERS CAN FIND IT!

Saturday, November 2, 2013

MINIONS NEEDED!

HULK RECENTLY HAS FOUND IT DIFFICULT TO GET REGULAR PRODUCTION AT SAME HULKY SPEEDS IT USED TO AND THIS NOW MEANS HULK NEEDS A NEW WAVE OF MINION TALENT TO HELP OUT AND MAKE GAMES!

 HERE'S THE DEAL,

 IN THE PAST MINIONS HAVE BEEN SPORADIC BUT ALWAYS VERY ENDEARING TO HELP OUT HULK ON PROJECTS THAT REQUIRED MORE THEN ONE PERSON INVOLVED.

SOME OF THE PROJECTS ( LIKE THE PODCAST) HAVE BEEN FREE WHILE OTHER PROJECTS TURN INTO CONTRACT WORK. HULK ALSO MAKES SURE TO HELP OUT MINIONS WITH WHATEVER THEY NEED, BE IT A RECOMMENDATION, SOMETHING TO PUT ON RESUME, OR THE AFOREMENTIONED PAID WORK ONCE HULK FEELS ENOUGH PROGRESS HAS BEEN MADE.

CURRENTLY,

HULK IS ABOUT TO MOVE, PROJECTS MAY BE A LITTLE DELAYED FOR A FEW COUPLE WEEKS DURING SAID MOVE BUT AFTERWORDS HULK PLANS ON CONTINUING PRODUCTION ON 4 DIFFERENT PROJECTS.

THE FIRST IS THE PODCAST WHICH HAS BEEN DELAYED BY PEOPLE SADLY VANISHING AND OR DYING THIS YEAR AND IT REALLY PLACED HULK IN A BIND!

 THE SECOND PROJECT IS METAPHORICAL LOVE STORY! A 2D MEETS 3D SIDE SCROLLER LAMPOONING THE GAME INDUSTRY! HULK NEEDS PROGRAMMERS, ARTISTS, AND POSSIBLY DESIGNERS FOR THIS ONE!

( PROGRAMMERS: GAME CURRENTLY IS BEING DONE IN C#, UNITY BASED, AND IF OTHER LANGUAGES ARE TO BE CONSIDERED THEN HULK WOULD NEED SERIOUS COMMITMENTS TO THE PROJECT)

THE THIRD PROJECT IS SOMETHING HULK HAS BEEN PONDERING FOR A LONG TIME CALLED " LUNA AND SOL" FOR THOSE THAT FOLLOW SILLY HULK TWEETS , HULK FOR THE MOMENT IS MAKING THIS A VISUAL NOVEL, THEN AT LATER DATE HULK PLANNING ON MAKING THIS SOMETHING FAR FAR GREATER. HULK WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO AN ARTIST, PROBABLY SOMEONE FAMILIAR WITH ANIME  AND OR CELL SHADING SINCE HULK YET TO SEE AN ART STYLE THAT WAS BETTER  BUT HULK WOULD LOVE TO CHAT REGARDLESS ON THIS ONE.

AND FINALLY, THE LAST PROJECT IS ACTUALLY HERE!

IN THE PAST MINIONS HAVE ACTUALLY WRITTEN ARTICLES ON THIS SITE OR WROTE THEM ELSEWHERE! HULK MISSES THE COMMUNICATION! THE CRAZY IDEAS HULK USED TO SEE A LOT OF HERE AND HULK WANTS TO MAKE SURE THE CONTENT DOESN'T GET STALE WITH HULK BALANCING ALL THESE CRAZY THINGS AT ONCE!

FOR THOSE WITH QUESTIONS CONTACT HULK AT HULKGAMECRIT@GMAIL.COM OR TWEET HULK! HULK WILL PROMISE TO ANSWER!

(HULK IS ALSO STILL WORKING ON STASIS, NO WORD YET ON WHERE THAT'S GOING BUT IF SOMEONE IS NEEDED AND HULK KNOWS THEM.....THEN WHO KNOWS? )

Sunday, September 22, 2013

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! THE BLUE BALLS OF A LONG LOST PAST EDITION!

ITS NEW YORK VS MALAYSIA VS FLORIDA VS SWEDEN IN THIS WEEKS PODCAST!

PLEASE KEEP ALL HANDS INSIDE THE STEEL CAGE AS HULK PREPARES TO DERAIL THE TRAIN!



DISCUSSION POINTS: 
LOLO
MOLY-BOOZE
KANECO BEING KANECO ( WHICH IS TERRIBLE)
SYNERGISTIC WORDS ARE SYNERGISTIC
GTA 5 NONSENSE
THE WOES OF THE AVERAGE INDIE DEV
MORE BALL JOKES
A MOMENT OF SELF PITY
EVERYONE DIES INSIDE
WAR THUNDER STORIES

MUSIC IS FROM HULK BUDDY SAKIMOTO AND ALSO FROM NAKINYKO.... WHO IS A MASHUP GENIUS