Friday, May 22, 2015

LESSONS THAT CAN BE LEARNED.... WITCHER 3

NORMALLY IT TAKES HULK PLAYING AN ENTIRE GAME 3 TIMES BEFORE SOMETHING POPS IN HULK MIND FOR ONE OF THESE SEGMENTS.... CLEARLY WITCHER IS OFF TO GOOD START..


WHEN HULK PLAYED WITCHER 2... SOMETHING ALWAYS NAGGED IN THE BACK OF HULK MIND.


A WITCHER IS THIS MYTHICAL SEX GOD DEMON FIGHTING GENETIC WAR LORD OF YORE YET THEIR GREATEST CREATION, THIS "GERALT OF RIVIA" HAS ON ONLY ONE OCCASION ACTUALLY THE ACTED THE PART.

YES, THE POLITICS, MYSTERY, AND EVEN BITS OF THE WRITING WERE FANTASTIC

BUT IN THE GRAND SENSE OF WELL, GERALT... BECAUSE IT'S ALL ABOUT GERALT


THE POLITICINESS AND ENDLESS BATTLE ROYALES ALWAYS FLOWED AGAINST THE CHARACTER FOR HULK

HULK CAN GET BEHIND A CHARACTER THAT EVEERY ONCE IN WHILE STOPS WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO FIGHT FOR BETTER GOOD / EVIL

BUT IN CASE OF WITCHER ITS LIKE HE TOSSED ASIDE THE RANGER THEN LEFT IT IN THE CLOSET FOR 359 DAYS OF ANY YEAR...

IT DIDN'T LOOK RIGHT.

AND WITH WITCHER 3 THAT SO FAR LOOKS TO BE CORRECTED





AS HULK BEGAN FIRST TOUR THROUGH POORER MORE DESPERATE SECTIONS OF "WITCHERLAND" HULK CAME UPON A CORPSE.

HULK WASN'T TRYING TO FIND A CORPSE.
HULK HAD NO INTEREST IN WHY CORPSE THERE OR HOW CORPSE HAD ONE HALF HERE AND OTHER HALF IN TASTY BERRY BUSH.

BUT WITCHER CARED

HE STEPPED DOWN, LISTEN TO THE WILDS, INVESTIGATED THE FINGERTIPS LIKE SOME SORT OF WITCHER CSI. ACTING AS IF HE HAD A SHERLOCK STYLED LIST OF CULPRITS IN HIS MIND THAT WAS SLOWLY BEING SHRUNKEN BY EACH LITTLE THING HE FOUND AT THE SCENE.

THEN CAME THE SOLUTION

WEREWOLF

WHICH LED TO A PROMPT ON WHAT WITCHER KNOWS ON WEREWOLFY AND WHAT MUST BE DONE WHILE BRUTALLY SMASHING THEM.


THIS WHOLE PROCESS, THIS WHOLE INTRICATE WHAT APPEARS TO BE RANDOM EVENT UNTIED TO ANYTHING, SHOWED GERALT IN HIS NATURAL SURROUNDING. IT SHOWED HIS EXPERIENCE, IT SHOWED HIS WILL, IT SHOWED HIS MASTERY AT HIS CRAFT, AND THE SOFT SWAYING OF LEAVES AND CREAKING OF BRANCHES AS IT PLAYED OUT MADE EVERYTHING SEEM MORE POSSIBLE.


AND INCREDIBLE MOMENTS LIKE THAT WE CAN LEARN ALOT FROM.

MAKES ALL THAT TALK OF ATMOSPHERIC STORYTELLING SEEM SOMEWHAT INTERESTING

Monday, May 18, 2015

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST: SONIC'S COCK SMILE EDITION!





ONE OF THE MINIONS HAS FOUND WORK, ONE OF THE MINIONS HATES TRAINS, THE THIRD MINION IS A GOD DAMN CARD TERRORIST WITH A PENCHANT FOR DEMON DRAGON THINGS , THE FOURTH WAS JEALOUS OF COCK SMILE SEO'S , THE FIFTH READ SOME MY IMMORTAL, AND HULK DIED A LITTLE INSIDE...


DISCUSSION POINTS:

SONIC'S COCK SMILE
BAD USER REVIEWS
WHAT BRIDGE DID KOJIMA FUCKING BURN?
WITCHER 3
OTHER GAMES THAT AREN'T WITCHER 3
QUIET FIGURINES AND THEIR POSSIBLE "PLOT LINES"




LISTEN HERE
DOWNLOAD HERE

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST... MORE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES EDITION!

JUST WHEN HULK THOUGHT THE NEW RECORDING METHOD WAS AWESOME SAUCE... THE MINIONS ALL GET FOOD POISONING

LISTEN TO THE SCRAPS THAT DIDN'T BREAK HERE

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

MINION THOUGHTS: LIFE IS STRANGE

ONE OF THE NEWEST "MINIONS" WILL HAS TRAVERSED INTO THE DANGEROUS AND DARK WORLD OF YOUTUBE GAME DISCUSSION!



SPOILER WARNING! WILL TALKING DEEP ON ONE OF THE STRANGEST PARTS OF LIFE IS STRANGE WHILE MAKING SILLY JOKES! DON'T PLAY IF FEARING THE SPOILERS! 


(ALSO GOOD JOB WILL, HULK VERY PROUD)

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! MILK OF THE POPPY EDITION!






GOOD SERS, TWAS A NIGHT LIKE ANY NIGHT WHEN THE HULK GODS REACHED DEEP INTO THE BOSSOM OF THE INTERWEBS AND DOTH WRIPPED FROM HER HULK'S NEW PODCAST RECORDING SOFTWARE...

HIGHLY UNTESTED, BUT LOOKING TO GET A SOLID SCORE...

PEOPLE ON THE CALL:

LEMON
IAN
BRANDON
WILL
MATHIAS
THAT ANGRY HULK GUY


DISCUSSION POINTS:

GTA
FINAL FANTASY PORNO 15
MILK OF THE POPPY
MODS
KONAMI
AND A WHOLE BUCKET OF BULL****

LISTEN HERE:
DOWNLOAD HERE: