Friday, August 19, 2016

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! GREMLIN DVA EDITION!

NO MAN'S SKY IS A LOT LIKE STAR CITIZEN..A HOT MESS



DISCUSSION POINTS:
 HITMAN THINGS
POKEMON THINGS
NO MAN'S SKY IS LONELY
BUGS
LITIGIOUS GAME DEVELOPMENT




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Saturday, August 13, 2016

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! AUGMENTED POKEVISION EDITION

THAT HOT APP THAT WAS BRING ALL THE KIDS TO THE YARD?

ITS DEAD NOW...



DISCUSSION POINTS:
POKEVISION
DEUS EX MARKETING FUCK UPS
BATMAN NOT READY ON PC
BIGGER COMPUTERS DONT FIX SMALL PROBLEMS
SUICIDE SQUAD SUCKS



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Friday, August 5, 2016

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! DENTISTRY = MORPHINE EDITION

PODCAST SHORTER THIS WEEK, IN THE WORDS OF MODERN DENTISTRY
"JUST GO WITH IT"




DISCUSSION POINTS:
TOO MUCH GODZILLLA
TOO MUCH SWEET HATRED
WAY TOO MUCH SANIC
NOT ENOUGH BELGIUM
THE DIFFICULTIES OF MAKING AN ASSASSINATION SANDBOX



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LISTEN HERE

Monday, August 1, 2016

HULK LOVE GRAND KINGDOM, HERE'S EVERYTHING WRONG WITH IT

GRAND KINGDOM AS FOLLOWERS PROBABLY HAVE SURMISED BY NOW IS PRETTY DAMN GREAT, BUT HULK SAY IT COULD DEFINITELY BE BETTER.


LETS COUNT ALL THE WAYS~

UI FIXES:

1: IF AN ARROW IS SOARING TOWARDS A WELL ESTABLISHED GRID IT SHOULD HIT THAT WELL ESTABLISHED GRID. A GRID IS NOT SOMEONE'S ART PROJECT NOR IS IT SOME SORT OF SUGGESTION.. ITS A FIX POINT OF LINES THAT IS GUIDED BY DECADES OF SCIENCE THAT CANNOT BE CHANGED BY ONE GROUP OF INDIVIDUALS WITHOUT REPERCUSSIONS.

IN THIS INSTANCE THE DEVS ALL LOOK LIKE MORONS THAT FAILED TO DO ANY RESEARCH BEFORE GRABBING SOME THING HEAVILY DOCUMENTED / PLACED IN THE ANNALS OF REALITY  THEN CONSTRUCTED WITH MATHEMATICS AND DEVISED DURING THE FIRST THOUGHTS OF HUMANITY, GRAVITY, AND THIS STRANGE WORLD WE ALL LIVE ON.

THE ARROW KILLING SOMEONE FRIENDLY OUTSIDE THAT GRID NOT NEAR THE UI WHEN THE DESTINATION IS INSIDE THE GRID IS A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY.

IF THERE'S SOME NEW RULE THAT ONLY GRAND KINGDOM FOLLOWS AND NO ONE ELSE IN THE 30 YEARS OF VIDEO GAMES FOLLOW THEN THAT RULE NEEDS TO BE IN A TUTORIAL. 


2:  IF THE MEDIC FIRES A HEALING POTION AT FRIENDLY UNITS, AND IS AFFECTING A GRID... ONLY ITEMS IN THAT GRID SHOULD BE AFFECTED. ENEMY UNITS ( AND OF COURSE IT ONLY HAPPENS WITH ENEMY UNITS) SHOULD NOT BE INSTANTLY HEALED JUST BECAUSE THEY WERE OUTSIDE THE GRID YET STILL SORTA CLOSE TO THE ART WORK ASSOCIATED WITH A HEALING EFFECT. THAT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE, IT IS OUTSIDE THE GRID.

IF THERE'S SOME NEW RULE THAT ONLY GRAND KINGDOM FOLLOWS AND NO ONE ELSE IN THE 30 YEARS OF VIDEO GAMES FOLLOW THEN THAT RULE NEEDS TO BE IN A TUTORIAL. 


3: THE DIRECTIONAL KEYS ARE TERRIBLE... THEY ARE ALL ARROW BASED WITH NO FURTHER PROMPT ( SUCH AS BUTTON ASSOCIATED OR WHICH DIRECTION ON THE CONTROLLER IS SUPPOSED TO BE SELECTED IN ORDER TO CONTINUE IN A GIVEN DIRECTION. THE PROBLEM IS MADE WORSE BY TIME LIMITS. IN SOME MISSIONS THIS LACK OF HELPFULNESS CAUSES YOU TO GO IN A WRONG DIRECTION ON ACCIDENT ... ALSO WHEN RETURNING FROM A FIGHT IT IS VERY EASY TO FORGET THAT "LEFT" OR "RIGHT" IS CURRENTLY EQUATING TO "UP")


4: ITEMS WITH A "ONE TIME USE PER BATTLE" IN THE DESCRIPTION CAN BE USED MULTIPLE TIMES IN ONE GO WHEN IN WAR MODE... ARE THE ITEMS BEING WASTED? ARE THEY BEING STACKED? *THIS NEEDS A TUTORIAL.*

5: IF HULK HELP ONE COUNTRY IN WAR OR DURING A MISSION, THERE'S A CHANCE OF IT AFFECTING HULK POSITION AND CURRENT RANKING. YET HULK NEEDS TO CHANGE CITIES SOMETIMES IN ORDER TO GET BETTER GEAR.  HULK PUNISHED FOR CHANGING SIDES AND THE REPERCUSSIONS ARE BLURRY.  THERE ARE ALSO TIMES  WHERE THE RANKING AND CLOUT DOESN'T GET HARMED. *THIS NEEDS A TUTORIAL*


6:
IF HULK DISPATCH TROOPS, THEY GO FIGHT FOR FIEL, THEY WIN FOR FIEL,  HULK CHANGE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY AFTER VICTORY BECAUSE HULK CONTRACT WITH FIEL IS UP, THE VICTORIES WILL NOW INSTEAD GO TO THE NEW COUNTRY INSTEAD OF GOING TO FIEL.  (MERCENARIES FIGHTING FOR A COUNTRY DON'T SUDDENLY HAVE THEIR WINS AND LOSSES GO TO A DIFFERENT COUNTRY NOT INVOLVED! THAT FUCKING IDIOTIC)

7:  IF A UNIT ATTACKS A CHARACTER THAT CHARACTER NOW GLOWS TO SUGGEST THE UNIT WILL BE ATTACKED. IF SAID ATTACK IS TRIGGERED, A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT UNIT EITHER AHEAD OR BEHIND SAID UNIT SHOULD NOT BE ATTACKED INSTEAD. UI'S ARE NOT A SUGGESTED ATTACK AREA. THEY ARE DOCTRINE. THEY ARE LAWS AND RULES CREATED DECADES AGO TO HELP PLAYERS GET THROUGH A GAME. A PLAYER MAKING A COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED MISTAKE DUE TO POOR TUTORIALS AND UI DESIGN DOES NOT EQUATE TO A MORE CHALLENGING EXPERIENCE! ALL IT DOES IS ANGER EVERYONE INVOLVED AND MAKE PLAYERS NEVER WANT TO PLAY GAME AGAIN

ALSO, IF THERE'S SOME NEW RULE THAT ONLY GRAND KINGDOM FOLLOWS AND NO ONE ELSE IN THE 30 YEARS OF VIDEOGAMES FOLLOW THEN THAT RULE NEEDS TO BE IN A TUTORIAL. 


8:
IF A PLAYER'S CHARACTER IS GOOD AT CERTAIN THINGS, THEN THOSE TRAITS SHOULD BE EXPLAINED. FURTHER MORE IF A CHARACTER CAN GAIN SKILLS THEN THOSE SKILLS SHOULD BE EXPLAINED. FURTHER, IF THERE'S ONLY CERTAIN STATS OR CONDITIONS NEEDED IN ORDER TO GAIN A SKILL THEN THE MENU , GUIDE, OR HELP SECTIONS NEED TO GIVE GUIDANCE OR AT LEAST FUCKING HINTS ON HOW TO GAIN SAID SKILLS. IT TOOK HULK TWO WEEKS OF EXPERIMENTATION TO LEARN A SKILL CALLED "HEAL BULLET" ITS SUPPOSED TO BE A BASIC SKILL FOR SURVIVAL.

9: IF A COUNTRY GIVES CERTAIN REWARDS, EXAMPLES OF SAID REWARDS SHOULD BE IN THE TUTORIAL. ESPECIALLY WHEN CONSIDERING THE PROBLEMS LISTED IN 5 AND 6.THE DEVS RISK PUNISHING A PLAYER EACH TIME THEY TRY TO LEARN ABOUT A FACTION.

10: WHAT RANKS DO AND HOW RANKS ARE GAINED NEEDS A TUTORIAL.
( A COUNTER OR TABLE TO HOW LONG BEFORE EACH RANK UP WOULD ALSO BE NICE)


11: WHEN ANY RANGED UNIT IS THROWING A PROJECTILE THAT IS FOLLOWING  A  GRID... THE DAMAGE DONE SHOULD ONLY BE IN THAT GRID OR THE UI SHOULD BE UPDATING TO SHOW THE COMPLETE SPLASH DAMAGE. THIS IS NOT A FPS AND THESE ARE NOT GRENADES. THIS IS A STRATEGY GAME, THE PLAYER NEEDS SHARP PERFECT UI'S SO THE PLAYER KNOWS HOW TO DEVISE THERE STRATEGIES

12: IF AN ACID SHOT IS BEING THROWN INTO THE GRID  AND THE ARC STATES IT WILL BE GOING INTO ENEMIES AND WILL BE HARMING ENEMIES. IT SHOULD NOT ATTACK FRIENDLY ALLIES DUE TO INVISIBLE HIT BOXES THAT EXTEND FAR BEYOND THE CHARACTERS SIZE AND WEAPON.( THIS CAN BE CLASSIFIED AS GAME PLAY ISSUE AND UI FUCKUP)

13: MONEY EARNED DURING MULTIPLAYER HARD TO TRACK WITHOUT OPENING MENUS AND LOADING SCREENS HULK GAINED 40,000 FROM ONE MATCH AND HULK HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE FUCK IT HAPPENED

14: THE WARNING " YOU DETECT AN OMINOUS PRESENCE" SHOULD INCLUDE AN EXPLANATION ON HOW TO FUCKING GET TO THE OMINOUS PRESENCE. ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS NOT ON THE MAP.


 *****AGAIN*****

IF THERE'S SOME NEW RULE THAT ONLY GRAND KINGDOM FOLLOWS AND NO ONE ELSE IN THE 30 YEARS OF VIDEOGAMES FOLLOW THEN THAT RULE NEEDS TO BE IN A TUTORIAL.

( HULK SURE HULK FIND MORE BUT LETS MOVE ON)


GAMEPLAY

1: IF OPPONENT IS IN FRONT OF CHARACTER AND YOU MANAGE TO ATTACK THEM FROM BEHIND THROUGH AN ARC, THE RESOUNDING "BACK ATTACK" SHOULD BE MOVING THE CHARACTER FORWARD DUE TO FORCE, PHYSICS, AND THE LAWS OF EXPLOSIONS. THE CHARACTER SHOULD NOT MOVE BACKWARDS BECAUSE IT WAS A BACK ATTACK. THAT NOT MAKE SENSE. IT NOT AN IMPLOSION GRENADE, GRAND KINGDOM DOES NOT TAKE PLACE IN THE FUTURE OR PRESENT.

2: LEVEL GRINDING IS NOT FUN, FORCING PLAYER TO GRIND THROUGH MULTIPLAYER FOR ANY DECENT AMOUNT OF EXP IS TERRIBLE IDEA WHEN ALL THAT SHOW UP ARE  FIGHTS WITH A  LEVEL 56  TEAM CALLED "TRUMP 2016" THAT KILL IN ONE SWEEP.( AND OF COURSE, NO EXP GAINED)

3: EXP BOOSTS OR JUST HIGHER LEVELS OF EXP FROM ENEMIES NECESSARY IN THE TRAVEL QUESTS. THESE ARE FUN MAPS, REALLY FUN MAPS, HULK NOT JOKING, WHEN DIRECTION PROBLEMS MENTIONED EARLIER NOT OCCURRING THESE MAPS ARE FUCKING GREAT... IT NOT GREAT IF IT TAKE OVER AN HOUR JUST TO GAIN 4 LEVELS FOR WEAK CHARACTERS.

4: IF PLAYER GOES INTO HIGHER LEVEL AREA, COMMON SENSE DICTATES THEY SHOULD RECEIVE VASTLY LARGER AMOUNTS OF EXP FOR ACTUALLY GETTING A KILL. THIS NECESSARY IN ORDER TO KEEP PEOPLE PLAYING THE GAME. HULK WANT TO TEST UNITS, HULK WANT TO EXPLORE, THE FACT HULK CANT EASILY TRAIN UNITS IS EYESORE.

5: IF UNIT GO INTO WAR WITH LVL 25 CHARACTER AND 2 LVL 3 CHARACTERS, HULK SHOULD NOT BE GIVEN NOTHING BUT MATCHES WITH LVL 30 CHARACTERS. HULK NEED TO TRAIN UNITS, GRAND KINGDOM NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO BALANCE TEAMS AND OPPONENTS.

6: DUE TO THE ISSUE STATED IN 5 IT IS INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT TO TRAIN A DRAGON MAGE UNIT.

7: DUE TO THE ISSUES STATED ON SKILLS IN THE UI SECTION AND IN 5 IT IS INCREDIBLY HARD TO TRAIN A DRAGON MAGE UNIT

8: DUE TO THE FACT DRAGON MAGES TAKE TWO SLOTS ON THE FOUR MAN TEAMS, IT IS INCREDIBLY HARD TO TRAIN A DRAGON MAGE UNIT ( ESPECIALLY IN WAR)

9: IN WAR, WHEN HULK SIGN AN ALLIANCE AND PAY FOR THAT UNIT TO HELP HULK IN BATTLE, HULK SHOULD SEE UNIT SHOW UP ON THE BATTLE FIELD NO MATTER WHAT. HULK HAS PAID OVER 8000, TO DATE DURING WARS TO GET ONE OF THOSE UNITS TO HELP HULK, HULK NEVER SEE IT SHOW UP.

IF HULK IS INCORRECT IN ASSUMPTIONS ON HOW ALLIANCE WORKS, THEN IT NEEDS A FUCKING TUTORIAL

10: IF CERTAIN ABILITIES LIKE "HEALING RAIN" CAN AFFECT THE MAP OUTSIDE OF JUST HEALTH, THEN THAT SHOULD BE IN A TUTORIAL

11: IF HULK BUYS AN ITEM, HULK SHOULD BE ABLE TO USE IT ANYWHERE OR AT LEAST ASSIGN THEM TO DIFFICULT MISSIONS AS HULK SEE FIT IN SOME CAPACITY. FIGHT DIFFICULTY / CHALLENGE WITH HARD WORK, PERSEVERANCE, AND FUNDS.... NOT SCRIPTED ITEM SUGGESTIONS. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD LET A UNIT GO INTO BATTLE UNDERFUNDED? INCREDIBLY IDIOTIC

12: SIDE MISSIONS SHOULD NOT BE GENERIC. THEY SHOULD BE WORLD BUILDING MISSIONS IN ORDER TO HELP PLAYER DECIDE WHICH FACTION THEY SHOULD JOIN IN MULTIPLAYER. HULK WANT TO LEARN ABOUT MAGION, WHY CAN'T HULK LEARN MORE ABOUT MAGION?

( HULK ALSO WOULDN'T MIND SIDE MISSIONS FOCUSED ON A COUNTRY. ...GOOD WILL MISSIONS AND DOPE SUPPLY CHAINS SEEM LIKE SOMETHING FIEL WOULD ASPIRE FOR, YET ALL THEY GIVE ARE MISSIONS SURROUNDING MURDER... THEY ARE A COUNTRY BUILT ENTIRELY OF WAR REFUGEES WHILE THEIR QUEEN LOOKS SORTA LIKE AN ELF, HULK WANT BACKSTORY)

13: PALADINS FOR YEARS HAVE BEEN CONNECTED TO QUICK MOVING AGILE MEN WHO HOLD AN AFFINITY WITH SOME HIGHER PURPOSE ( USUALLY A GOD) THEY SHOULDN'T BE SO SLOW THEY DIE BEFORE GETTING TO THE FIGHT

14: PALADINS USUALLY ARE ASSOCIATED WITH BEING AT THE FRONT, TRADITIONALLY SPEAKING THEY GET BEST GEAR DUE TO CORRUPTION OF FAITH AND HOLY CHURCH BODIES. A DAMAGE BOOST IS ALSO EXPECTED.

15: WHEN SOMEONE IMPROVES THERE AGILITY THEY BECOME FASTER AND CAN MOVE LARGER DISTANCES. WHEN THAT IS BEING DONE AN IMPROVEMENT SHOULD BE SEEN EVEN IF IT SLOW CHARACTER LIKE THE PALADIN.

16: EVEN WHEN PLAYER SCREWS UP AND THE UI ( FOR THIS ONE RARE MOMENT) IS NOT TO BLAME, TEAM KILLS SHOULD NOT HAPPEN AUTOMATICALLY. IN WARS, UNITS CAN GET CAUGHT IN FRIENDLY UNIT'S SUPPORT FIRE EASILY YET IN THAT SITUATION ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD AND THE GAME USUALLY CALCULATES FAIRLY. YET IF ITS A TEAM ATTACK OR ENEMY HEAL THE GAME IS EXCESSIVELY UNBELIEVABLY INCOMPREHENSIBLY CRUEL. THIS HERE IS A MASSIVE CONTRADICTION AND LACK OF FORE THOUGHT. SADISM  OF THIS NATURE DOES NOT SELL GAMES NOR CAN THIS BE CONSIDERED "DIFFICULTY". THIS IS JUST GARBAGE LAYERED ONTO WHAT IS ALREADY A REALLY BAD EXPERIENCE.

17: IF TWO UNITS WITH SAME SKILLS  AND STATS ACTIVATE THE SAME MOVE THAT REQUIRES A WAITING PERIOD BEFORE ACTIVATION. THE ENEMY UNIT SHOULD NOT TRIGGER THERE ATTACK ON THE NEXT TURN WHILE PLAYER IS STUCK WAITING 5 TURNS. ( THIS WAS TESTED MULTIPLE TIMES , MANY OF WHICH WITH NO STATE BOOSTS ON THE FIELD)

18: WHEN FIGHTING MONSTER IN TRAVEL MODE, A BOUNTY ON A 13 LVL AREA SHOULD NOT BE A 48 LVL MONSTROSITY OF 8 MONSTERS

19: WHEN FIGHTING MONSTERS ON THE FIELD, BOUNTIES AND RARE OCCURRENCES... THE ASSIST GAUGE SHOULDN'T ONLY ACTIVATE ON FIGHTS THAT ARE ALREADY INSANELY UNFAIR

20: UNFAIR FIGHTS SHOULD NOT BE A RANDOM OCCURRENCE IN TRAVEL MODE. THEY SHOULD BE AT THEIR APPROPRIATE LEVELED AREA WITH A SHITLOAD OF WARNINGS SURROUNDING THEM

21: WHEN IN WAR AND FORCED BACK TO MAP AFTER A FEW FIGHTS, PLAYER SHOULD BE GIVEN A CHANCE TO CHECK SURROUNDINGS, MOVE, OR GRAB ITEMS EVEN WHEN THE FORT IS GRABBED BY THE OTHER TEAM. FORCING THEM INTO NEW WAVE OF FIGHTS IS A DICK MOVE

22: WHEN RUNNING AWAY FROM MONSTER, ACCIDENTALLY CHOOSE A DEAD END DUE TO BAD DIRECTIONAL BUTTONS IN THE UI AND MONSTER ATTACKS. THE SELECTION OF " RETREAT" SHOULD ALLOW THE PLAYER TO JUMP BACK ONE SPACE JUST LIKE IT DOES ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE MAP, NOT JUST RE FORCE THE PLAYER BACK INTO A BAD FIGHT THEY DIDN'T WANT BECAUSE THE DIRECTIONAL UI IS TERRIBLY CONFUSING"

23: HULK HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE POWERS EACH NATION HAS, WHAT THE SPRITI BEASTS DO, THEY'VE ONLY BEEN BARELY MENTIONED ONCE IN STORYLINE SO FAR BUT HULK NEEDS A TUTORIAL ON WTF THEY ARE, WTF THEY DO, AND HTF SOMEONE FIGHTS THEM. NO ONE HAS AN ANSWER YET.

24: PEOPLE ONLINE KEEP TRYING TO MAKE GUIDES ON HOW THE SKILLS ARE LEARNED BUT NO ONE HAS ANYTHING CONCRETE AND NO ONE DEV WISE IS SUPPORTING THEM OR FOCUSING THERE EFFORTS. THE GAME DEVS IN CHARGE OF GAMEPLAY SHOULD GET THERE ASSES IN GEAR AND FUCKING HELP THEM

25: AND LASTLY, SCROLLS AND TOMES ARE POINTLESS.


THEY ARE HARD TO FIND
THEY ARE VERY HARD TO USE
AN INSANE AMOUNT OF GRINDING IS NECESSARY
IT DOESN'T FOLLOW ANY OF THE CONVENTIONS OF RPGS
THE PSN STORE MAKES THEM LOOK LIKE GARBAGE DLC INSTEAD OF A TOOL TO HELP IMPROVE A CHARACTER.















Friday, July 29, 2016

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! SUSHIL'S QUICKENING EDITION!

BRANDON = NO MAN SKY NERVOUS
DAVID GOT CENSORED
COREY IS THE BEST TESTER OF ALL TIME FOR THAT ONE GAME
SUSHIL ON THE PODCAST AGAIN, 3 MORE AND HE GETS SUB DLC
HULK = STAR CITIZEN NERVOUS




DISCUSSION POINTS: 
BRANDON HAS MET HIS BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER
SUSHIL WAS THE PROTOTYPE 
NO MAN'S SKY CAN'T STOP MAKING PEOPLE NERVOUS
STAR CITIZEN STARSHIP SUICIDE PACT
POKEMON GO IS PRETTY DOPE
GRAND KINGDOM HATRED
TIME TO DIE ADVENTURES
SONIC FANDOM
INDIENOMICON IS PRETTY GREAT, GO JOIN A MEETING ALREADY

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TIME TO DIE ADVENTURES
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FREE VERSION
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