MINUS ISSUES AGAIN

YES HULK KNOWS MINUS IS BORKING AGAIN...



THEY ARE PROMISING TO WORK ON IT, HAVE NO IDEA WHY ITS EVEN HAPPENING... " THAT'S INSANE... WE'LL FIX IT"


THE DOWNLOAD BUTTON STILL WORKS THOUGH GUYS...

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! STILLGRAY THE TURBO FEMINIST EDITION!

IN A FIELD SOMEWHERE DEEP IN  KANSAS, A LEGEND WAS BORN! HIS WEAPON? TWEETS! HIS MISSION? TO BE A TURBO FEMINIST!

CLAYTON, PRINNY, ILLUSIVE MAN, AND STILLGRAY TALK ABOUT THE DIRES OF TURBO FEMINISM, EA 'S SNOOPY GAME, AND THE PAINS OF AUDACTIY...

DISCUSSION POINTS!

"I HATE MEN"
TURBO FEMBOT!
MIND CRAFT!
SUP BROS!
BORDERLANDS WANTS SOMEONE TO COPY THEM!
A GAME THAT DOES NOT DISAPPOINT...TILL THE END...
THE ENTIRE PODCAST IS A BLOOPER REEL!
VAMPIRE GRENADES!
RANDOM CANCER STATEMENTS!
AUDACITY ISSUES....
HORSE BALLET!
THE WALKING DEAD..


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 MUSIC IS FROM ANALOGUE: A HATE STORY REMIXED AND DOTHACK!

HULK REVIEWS WALKING DEAD EPISODE 2!

SOOO... PART 2 IS DONE.... 

THANK THE HULK GODS THE TIME ATTACKS DID NOT MAKE
SUCH A TRIUMPHANT RETURN!  AND HULK GOT TO USE A CATTLE PROD!
.... FOR REASONS THAT ARE NOT LISTED ON THE SAFETY LABEL! ^_^ 

REMEMBER KIDS, WHEN FIGHTING IN A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE ,  
ALWAYS - SEARCH- FOR- FARM- EQUIPMENT! 
 MORDIN BASICALLY WROTE THE BOOK ON THAT ONE... 

AND NOW FOR THE ISSUES...
ITS LIKE AN OPPOSITE OF LAST TIME....
WALKING DEAD....BRO.... WHERE THE ******* ARE ALL THE ZOMBIES?
 ZOMBIES SHOULD NOT BE USED AS A NARRATIVE CLOSER TO A STORY ARC... 

YES WE'RE SEEING A DARKER SIDE OF HUMANITY
AND JUST COMPLETELY BATHING THIS BBQ IN ETHICS,
BUT STILL...COME ON GUYS...
 HULK GUESSES TELL TALE WANTED TO POINT OUT
THAT HUMANS ARE JUST AS OR MORE DEADLY, THEN THE BLOODY ZOMBLES.... 

* HULK SNIFF* AND JUST WHEN HULK WAS BEGINNING TO GET ALONG WITH LARRY...  

( THE NEXT BIT IS STUFF HULK RAMBLED ABOUT LATER)

NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO ....SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE IN THIS GAME... 

 ON ITS OWN HULK WOULD SAY ITS A MESSAGE ABOUT "FATE"
THAT SOME THINGS WILL HAPPEN BECAUSE THEY ARE MEANT TO HAPPEN... 

BUT THIS ISN'T FATE.... THIS IS A PATH AND GAME DESIGN DECISION... 

WALKING DEAD COULD HAVE BECOME SO MUCH MORE IF WE HAD THE FREEDOM
TO CHOOSE WHERE TO GO, OR HAD THE ILLUSION OF CHOICE!
CHOOSE TO LEAVE CLEMENTINE'S HOUSE, CHOOSE TO LEAVE FARM,
CHOOSE TO STAY INSTEAD OF LEAVING WITH DUCK FAMILY!
CHOOSE TO STARVE, CHOOSE TO HELP OUT OLD MAN THAT LOST KID,
ACTUALLY HAVE ABILITY TO SAVE KID! 

 WITHOUT HAVING THIS KIND OF FREEDOM,
WE'RE JUST RELUCTANTLY WALKING DOWN ONE PATH!
IT ISN'T RIGHT!

THIS IS THE KIND OF THING THAT STOPPED HEAVY RAIN FROM ACHIEVING GREATNESS TELL TALE!
 DON'T REPEAT THAT ERROR! 

FOR INTRODUCING A MAIN CHARACTER OUT OF THE BLUE JUST TO KILL HIM  40 MINUTES LATER...

HULK GIVES WALKING DEAD EPISODE TWO 3 OUT OF 5 FISTS!

HULK REVIEWS WALKING DEAD EPISODE 1

 GIVEN HOW WALKING DEAD HAS 4 PARTS...
EXPECT 4 HULK REVIEWS HULK GUESSES... 

IDEA OF MIXING TOGETHER MASS EFFECT CONVERSATIONS,
WITH CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE,
AND CELL SHADING MAKES HULK HAPPY BEYOND WORDS!
HOWEVER, THOSE WORDS ARE BEING SPOILED BY ******** TIME ATTACKS
ON THE CONVERSATIONS! 

YES, WE'RE IN A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE,
AND YES WE SHOULD HAVE A SENSE OF URGENCY!
BUT THESE STUPID TIME ATTACKS ARE UNNECESSARY! 
IF THEY WERE USED AT KEY MOMENTS LIKE WHEN FIGHTING OFF ZOMBLES
OR HELPING CLEMENTINE, THEN SURE
 HULK WOULD BE SAYING THESE ARE GENIUS! 

 BUT THAT IS NOT WHERE TELL TALE IS USING THEM!
HULK CANNOT EVEN FIND A REASON AS TO WHY THEY WERE USED
WHEN THEY WERE USED!
ITS LIKE TELLTALE SUDDENLY RAN OUT OF GAS AT THE CROSS SECTION
 OF BAD DESIGN AVENUE AND BROKEN GAMEFLOW BOULEVARD! 

 ALL HULK WANTS IN LIFE IS TO THINK THROUGH NARRATIVE
DECISIONS WITHOUT BEING RUSHED!
WHY DOES WALKING DEAD NOT WANT HULK TO THINK?
 ALSO.... WHAT THE ***** IS UP WITH THAT TRACTOR COMING TO LIFE AND MOVING?
THAT KID CANT REACH THE CONTROLS!
AND THEY CERTAINLY DO NOT JUST STOP AFTER 3 CENTIMETERS! 

WHY THE ***** DOES SOMEONE ALWAYS HAVE TO DIE?
HULK CAN MULTITASK QUITE EASILY!
ESPECIALLY WHEN PERSON SAVED HAS A GUN THAT'S LETHAL AT 50FT!!

HULK GIVES WALKING DEAD EPISODE ONE 3 OUT OF 5 FISTS....
SCORE MAY GET HIGHER AS MORE EPISODES APPEAR....

COMMON SENSE, BUSINESS, AND THE ARROGANCE OF MOJANG

HULK KNOW THIS ARTICLE IS GOING TO BE ALITTLE LOOSE BECAUSE OF HOW LITTLE INFO IS AVAILABLE AT MOMENT, BUT HULK FEELS THE NEED FOR SMASHING!


MOJANG RECENTLY RELEASED STATEMENT ABOUT  DROPPED PROJECT!

HULK KNOWS SOME GROANED AT THE FACT THEY WERE ACTUALLY TRYING TO MAKE A FIRST PERSON SHOOTER WHILE OTHERS JUST GIGGLED AT THE IDEA OF MORE AK47'S IN MINECRAFT...HULK HOWEVER WAS ANNOYED!

MOJANG DROPPED THE PROJECT BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT ANYMORE! WHICH IN HULK'S MIND IS FINE! THE WORDING CHOICE HOWEVER IS SHOWING A BIT OF ARROGANCE!

"The FPS was killed off in the prototype stage, not because it wasn't turning into a good game, but because Mojang "did not want more external dependencies," Notch says. "The success of Minecraft meant we could focus on projects fully owned by us."

Future collaborations aren't out of the question for Mojang, as long as they're "not to make money. If there are other reasons to collaborate, maybe!"

HULK KNOWS NOTCH IS NOT A MASTER OF ENGLISH SO HULK IS GOING TO LET SOME OF THAT GO.... BUT MOJANG ONLY WANTS TO COLLOBORATE WITH PEOPLE IF THEY DONT MAKE MONEY AND MOJANG HAS TOTAL CONTROL OF EVERYTHING?

MOJANG, YOU ARE AN INDY TEAM THAT GOT LUCKY WITH A JAVA GAME... ARE YOU SERIOUSLY STATING THAT YOU REFUSE TO COLLOBORATE ON PROJECTS OR HELP OTHERS REACH SOME SORT OF FOOTING LIKE YOU HAVE FOR THE MOMENT? NOT EVEN AAA PUBLISHERS ARE DUMB ENOUGH TO MAKE SUCH A BRASH STATEMENT!

COLLABORATION ON PROJECTS AS WELL AS FUNDING IS NECESSARY FOR THE GAME INDUSTRY! WE DO NOT LIVE IN SOME GOLDEN UTOPIA WHERE OUR COLLEGE IS FREE AND WE HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO FORM SEVERAL HUNDRED GOLD PLATED YACHTS!

 IN THE FUTURE PLEASE REMEMBER THAT WE ARE IN A MOTHER *********** DEPRESSION THAT IS FIRING OFF PEOPLE LEFT AND RIGHT WITH EACH CHANGE IN THE WIND. ITS ONLY BY LOOKING OUT FOR EACH OTHER AND WORKING TOGETHER THAT ANYTHING CAN GET DONE AROUND HERE! YOUR GAME INCLUDED... 

AND IF THIS IS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING THEN PLEASE DOUBLE CHECK WITH YOUR MARKETING TEAM BEFORE SAYING SOMETHING SO VAGUE AND EASILY MISUNDERSTOOD! GRRRRRRRR.....

HULK REVIEWS ANALOGUE: A HATE STORY!

ANALOGUE: A HATE STORY ISN'T EXACTLY A GAME! 

BUT IT IS CERTAINLY FAR MORE THEN A NOVEL!

FROM BEGINNING TO END HULK FOUND HIMSELF READING! 

FOR MOST GAMES THIS IS A RARE THING TO HAPPEN!

IT MEANS THAT NOT ONLY DID CHRISTINE TRY TO FLEX HER

NARRATIVE MUSCLES INSIDE THE GAME, BUT ALSO TRIED TO

CARRY A MESSAGE ABOUT THE WORLD AROUND US!

WORLD MAKER PHILOSOPHY IS OF KEY IMPORTANCE TO GET

A PERFECT SCORE FROM HULK! WITH THAT BEING SAID

ANALOGUE NEEDS MORE WORLD TO IT! HULK ISN'T SURE

IF ITS A LACK OF MAIN CHARACTER INFO, OR JUST A DESIRE

OF HULK TO SEE MORE LOGS... BUT THE WORLD OF ANALOUGE 

NEEDS SOMETHING MORE! MAYBE ANOTHER GAME MECHANIC?
HULK NOT REALLY SURE...

THE IDEA OF FLOATING AROUND IN SPACE TRYING TO UNDERSTAND HOW

A CIVILIZATION COULD IMPLODE ON ITSELF WHILE WE'RE IN THE FUTURE 

WILL FOREVER BE IN HULK'S MIND!

HULK GIVE ANALOUGE 4 OUT OF 5 FISTS! FOR TEACHING PEOPLE NOT TO BE MUTE!

AND TO ALWAYS CHANGE OUR PASSWORDS..

ANOTHER SQUARE ENIX ARTICLE!

THIS WEEK DURING PODCAST HULK MINIONS TOLD HULK THAT FINAL FANTASY VERSUS 13 FOR ALL INTENSIVE PURPOSES HAS BEEN CANCELLED! THE BIG WIGS OF SQUARE HAD GONE QUIET ON THE GAME (AND FRANCHISES) FOR MONTHS WITHOUT ANY REAL EXPLANATION! WHICH GAVE FUEL TO THE RUMORS THAT SQUARE SECRETLY WANTS THE GAME TO DIE!


RECENT FINANCIAL HULK REPORTS ALSO SUGGEST THAT SQUARE IS IN OMEGA "OH MY HULK GODS WE SPENT ALL OF OUR MONEY" DEATH MODE. WHICH TO HULK THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY SAD THING TO SEE! SQUARE HAS CONTROL OF SOOO MANY GREAT GAMES, BUT CANT SEE THE TREES FOR THE FOREST OF FALLACIES...

 HULK WANTS TO TELL MINIONS AND FOLLOWERS TO NOT WORRY!, AND ONE OF HULK'S BOSSES EVEN FOUND AN ARTICLE ON HOW VERSUS 13 IS STILL ALIVE ACCORDING TO SQUARE.


.. BUT HULK CAN'T DO THAT.


 SQUARE WAS KIND OF FORCED TO MAKE STATEMENTS AFTER SOMETHING SO DAMNING WAS RELEASED TO MEDIA, AND SINCE THEY HAVEN'T CANCELLED THE PROJECT YET, THEN TECHNICALLY IT ISN'T CANCELLED... JUST NO ONE IS WORKING ON IT, AND THEY REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT IT....

SQUARE LOOK... HULK LOVES YA WITH ALL OF HULK'S HEART, BUT YOU CAN'T JUST GO AROUND IN CIRCLES WITH US. YOU TELL US ONE THING AND THEN NEXT WEEK IT'S SOMETHING ELSE... WE ARE NOT YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER... WE WON'T ACCEPT BEING LIED TO THIS MUCH....

YOU NEED TO MAN UP

QUIT PLANNING ALL THESE STUPID SEQUELS... YOU ARE BAD AT THEM.


QUIT MAKING BAD ANIME INSPIRED GAMES... THEY ARE PAINFUL FOR US TO WATCH


 QUIT USING 16 YEAR OLD CHILDREN AS THE MAIN CHARACTERS... IT INSULTS US ALL


 QUIT IGNORING YOUR AUDIENCE... THEY ARE TRYING TO HELP YOU


 PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF HULK GODS SPEND MORE TIME ON MAKING GAMES, AND MAYBE GET YOURSELVES A BETTER MARKETING DEPARTMENT!


YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN THE LAST 5 YEARS AND HAVE ALMOST NO PRODUCTS TO SHOW FOR IT..YOU NEED TO STOP WASTING SO MUCH TIME DOING THE SAME BORING UNSELLABLE CRAP ALL THE TIME! IT WONT SATISFY YOUR LONG TERM NEEDS...

HULK REVIEWS 999!

RECENTLY HULK AND MINIONS REALIZED WE SHOULD BE COLLECTING OUR TWEET REVIEWS AND PLACING THEM ON HULK SITE... CLAYTON FOUND WORK SO HULK CAN NOW FOCUS MORE TIME ON SILLY SILLY THINGS LIKE THIS..

999 IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPRESSIVE GAMES HULK HAS EVER SMASHED!

BETWEEN ADORABLE PUZZLES THAT CHALLENGE EVERYTHING FROM

MUSIC COMPOSITION TO BASIC MATHEMATICS, IT BECOMES PAINFULLY

OBVIOUS THAT THIS BRILLIANT GAME HAS A SOUL!

HOWEVER THAT SOUL DOES NOT SHINE AS BRIGHTLY AS HULK HAD HOPED!

VISUAL NOVELS ARE A LITTLE MORE UNIQUE THEN GAMES! THEY REQUIRE

CHARACTERIZATION! STORY STRUCTURE! A VERY CLOSE EXAMINATION OF

ANY RULES ESTABLISHED INSIDE THE STORY STRUCTURE, AND ABOVE ALL

YOU ABSOLUTELY NEED EVERYTHING INSIDE THE GAME TO FLOW APPROPRIATELY!

 IT'S IN THIS LAST AREA THAT 999 ULTIMATELY FAILS!

HULK HAS VERY LITTLE UNDERSTANDING AS TO WHY CERTAIN CHARACTERS

 ARE IN THE GAME! WHILE THEY ALL HAVE A BACKGROUND (if you can call it that)

THAT BACKGROUND IS MOSTLY HINTED AT OR VAGUED UPON! THIS PROBLEM

IS EXASPERATED FURTHER BY A NEED TO PLAY EACH AND EVERY ENDING IN

ORDER TO EVEN HAVE A REMOTE CHANCE OF UNDERSTANDING THE ENDING!

DO YOU KNOW HOW CONFUSING IT IS TO PIECE TOGETHER SEVERAL DIFFERENT

STRANDS OF STORYLINE TOGETHER IN ORDER TO SEE SOMETHING? IT'S LIKE

READING SEVERAL DIFFERENT ENDINGS IN A CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE

BOOK AND THEN TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED IN WHAT ORDER!

IT'S A MESS! A GAMMA RADIATED MESS!

.... LOOK... HULK MIGHT BE BASHING ON THE GAME A LITTLE TOO MUCH....

HULK GRUMPY BECAUSE HULK UNDERSTOOD THE ENDING TO 999, BUT DOESNT

AGREE WITH THE DIRECTION! HULK CAN RESPECT WHAT THEY DID, BUT HULK

STILL NOT HAPPY WITH THE RESULTS OR "ANSWERS" GIVEN TO HULK!

THEY NEVER SEALED THE DEAL! THERE WERE THINGS THAT NEEDED TO HAPPEN,

BUT THE WRITER CHOSE NOT TO!

HULK WILL NEVER LOOK AT SUV'S OR EGYPTIAN HIEROGLYPHICS THE SAME WAY EVER AGAIN!

HULK GIVES 999 4 OUT OF 5 FISTS!

THE CLOSER YOU GET TO GRASPING SOMETHING POWERFUL..

THE HARDER IT BECOMES TO HANG ON..

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! KRATOS IS HERE FOR THE LADIES EDITION!

THIS WEEK CLAYTON, PRINNY,  AND MODSQUAD WONDER HOW MUCH OF A CUTE KITTEN NEKO TRULY IS!

DISCUSSION POINTS!

SONY BRO BRO!
FINAL FANTASY VERSUS 13 IS CANCELLED!
SQUARE ENIX WOES!
NO FLOATING SWORDS FOR HULK!
HEARTS AND HEARTLESS!
FEZ WOES!
BRO-ING UP THE HORROR GENRE!
MARKET RESEARCH!
SILICON KNIGHTS!
OWNED OWNED OWNED OWNED!
SAY HI TO BRIAN!
PRINNY IS PRINNY...
KANECO IS NOW NEKO!
MODSQUAD DOESNT LIKE KITTENS! D:
RANTS ABOUT GAMES PLAYED LATELY...

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MUSIC PLAYED THIS WEEK IS FROM NIER... GO BUY IT ALREADY! 

HULKGAMECRIT BONUS CAST! I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE EDITION!

THIS WEEK CLAYTON, PRINNY, AND ILLUSIVE MAN PLAYED LEFT FOR DEAD 2 A WHOLE BUNCH! EXCELLENT TIMING! THE INTERNET DIED....

DISCUSSION POINTS:

OH MAI GOD! OH MAI GOD! SHOOT THE ZOMBIES!
FRIDAY THE 13TH!
OUR CRIPPLING JOB MARKETS!
BAD DAY TO BE A ZOMBIE!
JOCKEY!
TANK!
SPITTER!
I HEARD SOMETHING TANKISH
SOURCE MOVIE MAKER!
MAN, THAT'S A WHOLE BUNCH OF ANGER RIGHT BEHIND THAT DOOR...
LOUIS SAVES THE FUCKING DAY!
LOUIS IS A MACHINE THAT CAME FROM THE FUTURE TO DIE FOR OUR DIGITAL SINS!
SOMEONE KILLS A TANK WITH A CHAINSAW!

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MUSIC IS FROM AO NO EXORCIST AND PORTAL2!

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! LIFESTREAM = BOURBON EDITION!

THIS WEEK CLAYTON, PRINNY, ILLUSIVE MAN, AND KANECO WONDER WHERE THE LEMONHATCHET HAS DISAPPEARED TO...

DISCUSSION POINTS!

ILLUSIVE MAN'S DRUNKEN CONTRACTS!
A COMPANY IS SHOCKED THAT FANS ARE PISSED ABOUT REGION LOCKING!
WHY IS ALL THE HULK NEWS NEGATIVE?
22 CANS OF DISAPPOINTMENT!
20 DOLLARS OF ON DISC SHENANIGANS! 
HOMEFRONT BULL****!
EA AND THE NPD!
THE ILLUSIVEMAN AND HIS TRUTHFUL NARCISSISM!
THE ILLUSIVE MAN AND HIS HOLY CHURCH OF BOURBON!
FINAL FANTASY 7 ACHIEVEMENTS!



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THIS WEEK'S MUSIC IS FROM THIS DUDE, AND FINAL FANTASY 7

FORMAL ANNOUNCEMENT TIME!

HULK AND VGREVOLUTION HAVE AGREED TO A BROMANCE!

IN RETURN FOR MORE DEMOGRAPHIC, HULK HAS TO AGREE TO CONTINUE SMASHING! ( AND BASK IN THE GLORY OF ITUNES)


IT WAS A ROUGH FIGHT... OVER 60 ROUNDS OF HAND TO HAND COMBAT WITH MR PRICE AND VGREVOLUTION LED TO HULK GLORY!

THE DUDES AT VGREVOLUTION FELT LIKE HELPING PEOPLE OUT!, AND HULK LOVES TO SEE PEOPLE IN GAME INDUSTRY HELP PEOPLE OUT! HULK HAS NO IDEA WHAT THIS BROMANCE WILL LATER ENTAIL, BUT HULK PROMISES TO KEEP RELEASING CONTENT! DO WHAT HULK AND MINIONS FEEL LIKE DOING! AND OR SMASHING! AND CONTINUE TO MAKE THINGS BETTER IN GAME INDUSTRY... ( EVEN IF WE'RE GETTING A LITTLE MORE CYNICAL IN THAT DEPARTMENT)

HULKGAMECRIT PODCAST! ILLUSIVE MAN BONUS CAST EDITION!

PODCAST DELAYED ONE DAY DUE TO PSYCHO LAWN MOWERS AND CITRUS BASED ACTIVITIES!

TIME FOR A BONUS CAST WITH MOD SQUAD AND ILLUSIVE MAN!

DISCUSSION POINTS!

INDEPENDENCE DAY!
CANADA DAY!
THE ILLUSIVENOMACON AND IT'S DREADED BURBON POWERS!
LAWN MOWER RECIPROCATION!
WHAT R YA PLAYING?!
METAL GEAR SOLID 5: CANE WALKER!
BENDILIN!
RYAN PEREZ!
RULES OF BEING ANONYMOUS ONLINE!
INDIVIDUALITY ON THE NET!
999!
DAYS OF OLD... LONG SINCE GONE... BUT NOT FORGOTTEN...



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MUSIC IS FROM VALKYRIA AND MASS EFFECT 2! GO BUY IT ALREADY!