A STEP TOO FAR!

A STEP TOO FAR!

( A RANT FROM THE DESK OF HULKGAMECRIT)

CLAYTON ORIGINALLY WAS SUPPOSED TO WRITE THIS ONE.... BUT HULK DECIDED THAT RAGE SHOULD BE SAVED FOR THE PODCAST!

ACTIVISION ANNOUNCED A NEW PROMOTION TOOL FOR MODERN WARFARE3!

WHILE HULK NORMALLY THINKS PRODUCT PROMOTION IN AND OUT OF GAME MAY BE A GREAT WAY TO HELP BIG BUDGET GAME PROJECTS REACH LOW BUDGET PRICES.... TO ACTUALLY RISK THE HEALTH OF YOUR GAMING AUDIENCE IS ABSOLUTELY ********* INSANE!

WHAT'S MORE HULK IS NOT TALKING ABOUT SOME POOR INDIE DEV THAT'S TRYING TO MAKE ENDS MEET!

HULK IS TALKING ABOUT ACTIVISION!

ONE OF THE LARGEST COMPANIES IN THE GAME INDUSTRY!

THE MESSAGE THEIR SAYING IS EVEN MORE DANGEROUS!

KEEP DRINKING PEPSI IN ORDER TO GET BETTER AT A VIDEOGAME!

WE WANT OUR GAMERS TO BE SITTING FOR ENDLESS HOURS STRAIGHT! BUYING OUR SH*T WHILE DRINKING EVEN MORE SH*T, AND THEN SPEND HALF YOUR NIGHT ON THE TOILET DUE TO SAID SH*T!

HULK WOULD LOVE TO MEET THE CORPORATE MORON THAT CAME UP WITH THIS MARKETTING STRATEGY!

HULK IS SURE ACTIVISION WANTS TO KEEP US ALL AS FAT AND STUPID AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE !

IT MIGHT STOP GAMERS FROM NOTICING HOW THEY KEEP DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

BUT TO ACTUALLY COME UP WITH A CAMPAIGN RUNNING SOLELY ON THOSE VALUES !

USING GAMIFICATION TECHNIQUES TO MAKE A HIGHLY ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCE IS EVEN MORE ADDICTIVE!

AND TO MAKE IT SOO F******* BLATANTLY OBVIOUS THAT A TWITTER HULK WAS ABLE TO MAKE AN ARTICLE OUT OF IT..... IS AN IDIOCY HULK HAS NEVER SEEN BEFORE!

HULK KEEPS BEING TOLD TO STOP BURNING DOWN ALL THE BRIDGES IN THE GAME INDUSTRY!

BUT SOME BRIDGES NEED TO BE BURNED!

ACTIVISION WANTS ALL FANBOYS ( INCLUDING SOME HULK FOLLOWERS) TO DIE!

AND BEFORE FANBOYS DIE THEY WILL NEED EXPENSIVE SURGERY AND LIMB REMOVAL!

THEN OFCOURSE ACTIVISION WILL MAKE A CONTROLLER THAT USES BRAIN WAVES!

SO WE CAN ALL PLAY GAMES ON OUR DEATHBEDS!

AND ON THOSE DEATHBEDS WE'LL STILL SUCK AT GAMES BECAUSE CHEATING OUR WAY THROUGH LIFE WITH DOUBLE XP WONT WORK WHEN WE HAVE TO RELY ON BRAIN POWER AND PERSONAL WILL!

IN SHORT... WE SHOULD ALL GO ON A DIET! AND MAYBE CHECK OUT THE SUBWAY PROMOTION IN LIMITED QUANITIES!

AT LEAST WITH THAT SYSTEM THE GAME WILL STILL BE BALANCED ENOUGH AT LAUNCH AND GUARANTEE A WONDERFUL HIGH FLYING CINEMATIC ADVENTURE FEATURING MANY MANY SCARY MONSTERS / TRIBAL MEN TOWARD THE VERY END THAT CAN BE ONLY KILLED BY A GOLDEN CROSSBOW! UNLESS OF COURSE JAMES BOND GOT IN THE WAY.... SO THEY'RE NOW SILVER!....WHATEVER.